Wednesday, June 18, 2008

This Jail Cell Is Wicked Ah-Some!


Boston police arrested 22 Celtics fans for getting a little too carried away with their celebrations last night. These folks bashed in store windows, tried (but failed) at overturning cars, and staged what Detroit residents can only be described as a "poor man's riot". I don't know exactly how poor men riot, but my guess is it involves throwing feces.

The city of Boston threw these guys in jail, and then the mayor came out and (in true mayorly fashion) called them "punks". He also encouraged tough penalties to be brought down upon them once they were brought to trial.

The thought of a bunch of Celtics fans in jail, getting stared at by 300+ pound prisoners is quite an interesting one. The conversations must go like this:

Boston fan: "Um...sir. Why are you looking at me and licking your lips?"

Prisoner: "You look like you need some lovin'."

Boston fan: "No. No I really, really don't."

Prisoner: "Then why's that fancy man on your shirt winkin' at me?"

Boston fan: "You mean my Celtics logo?" (Fan is knocked unconscious and dragged to a corner of the cell for lovemaking sessions with Bubba)

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