Stephen Jackson Is The Best

Stephen Jackson is one of my favorite players in the NBA. I don't find it particularly interesting to watch him play, and it isn't like he can lift a team with his spirit like Lebron or Chris Paul. I like Stephen Jackson because anytime you hear his name it is usually followed by something completely crazy and memorable.

Take his latest diatribe about how Rip Hamilton is weak. He doesn't necessarily attack Hamilton's game or his personality, but strikes him where it hurts most: His mask!

When Jackson was asked if he would wear anything protective after getting poked in the eye recently, he responded in typical amazing Stephen Jackson-esque fashion:

"No goggles. No, no, no. Never. I'm not going to be like Rip Hamilton, where my nose is broken eight years ago and I still wear a mask," said Jackson. "The only way I'll wear a patch is if my eye's closed. I'd rather stay with Captain Jack, not Pirate Jack."

Amazing. I want the last sentence on a corporate-style motivational poster. I give it a week or less before Captain Morgan finds a way to capitalize on this.

Colin Cowherd: THF Superfriend #2

This is Anubis Taylor and ESPN Radio's Colin Cowherd after what looks like a hard night of drinking, for Taylor especially (which it was). Whether or not his show is entertaining (it is) or you need a lobotomy to remove the part of your brain that repeats Cowherd saying Vizio over and over again in your head (I do), he is awesome for one thing above all else:

(Quote) Stephen A is a cool guy.

Nothing more needs to be said (Drop mic and exit stage right).

You Shouldn't Brag When Your Mascot Is The FTD Florist Guy

A Golden State Warrior boasting is a recipe for disaster.

People did indeed say these things, Monta Ellis, but how many of these things are now true? You aren't exactly a leader when someone can look at your Yahoo! profile and read, "Ellis is serving a 30-game suspension after sustaining a left ankle injury in an offseason moped accident." Leaders drive Harleys...followers use Segways and Mopeds.

Plus, the Warriors have come back to earth this year. They are 4-6 and already 4 games back in in their own division despite the fact that teams have only played 4 games. Honestly, there is nothing I like more than hearing a person boast egomaniacally in an ad and then watch as they fall from grace in a most spectacular fashion. Having a Golden State Warrior boast after one good year is like watching Gargamel celebrate after catching a Smurf...you know it's just going to get away from them in the end.

Now that I've said my piece, please enjoy the smooth listening sounds of someone who took the NBA on NBC song and made it sound like a video game. I love technology.

Ray Allen Is A Cheater, And Other Warm Sentiments From The Celtics

I stumbled across this video on Youtube while looking for the newest Watchmen trailer (how amazing does THAT movie look?), and have to say that it brightened my day. After seeing how completely laid back and ridiculous Hornets practices are, it came as no surprise to me that the Celtics don't seem to take themselves that seriously either (well...the non-KG members, that is). A little one-on-one with Gollum and Jesus Shuttlesworth is just what the doctor ordered. Have a good weekend, folks.

This Story Has Been Getting John Rogers Laid Every Night For 5 Years

That rumored video of a CEO beating Jordan in a 1-on-1 game at Jordan's Flight School has finally made it to the web thanks to the Wall Street Journal. CEO or not, this guy has carte blanche anywhere he goes now and if anyone ever gives him crap he can just say, "I beat MJ so F you!"

Donte Greene Thinks He Sees a Nipple

I'm not too sure what was going down at the opposite end of the court, but its obviously pleasing to Donte Greene's eyes. Maybe it's Megan Fox, Adrienne Bailon's tattooed ass, or maybe he is simply the last man on earth besides A-Rod that thinks Madonna's hot.

THF Welcomes New Sponsor: OnlineSeats.Com!

The Howeva Files is extremely proud to welcome sponsor OnlineSeats.Com!

We have been holding out a while now for a sponsor that worked well with our sports-related nature, and now you dear readers have a place to purchase game tickets from the site.  Just click on their link on our sidebar.  OnlineSeats.Com also sells a good number of Broadway show tickets, so if you are perusing our site and forget that it's your wife's anniversary/wife's birthday/wife's mother's birthday/forgot to pick your wife up from the bus station, you can remedy that with a swift click of your mouse.

We at THF are fiercely loyal to sponsors and fans, so we will get to work on those "Using Ticketmaster and StubHub depletes the O-Zone layer t-shirts".  In the meantime, feel free to peruse OnlineSeats.Com.