Friday, January 29, 2010

Dwight Howard's Passing Has Improved!

Dwight Howard of the Orlando Magic = The next coming of Hall of Famer John Stockton.

I can't believe it has taken me this long to do an Orlando Magic post on the new site. As a fan, I am ashamed. You can also check out this clip and others on ol' reliable

Dwight's Passing has improved!

Dwight Howard of the Orlando Magic = The next John Stockton.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Even New Orleans Citizens Annoyed By Super Bowl Coverage Of Them

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana - The Saints, by all intents and purposes a very likable and fun team to watch, have replaced Brett Favre as the most irritating thing on television to hear about. After Hurricane Katrina ravaged the city, they have set new world records for sports cliches to make gasbag sports anchors sound empathetic.

A few examples:

"The Saints players' backs hurt with the weight of Katrina on them."

"This game is the Colts against THE CITY OF NEW ORLEANS!"

"Drew Brees has changed the world over there in that city."

"I want this win to help repair some of that damage that was done to those poor people."

Residents' reaction? It's a game. We're happy we got this far. Give me some money to repair my house if you care that much, jackasses.

In other news, Peyton Manning is now #1 on the list of most hated villains, narrowly beating out Satan.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Saints Have Given Clippers Fans Hope

I know it's late, but I've been on a bender ever since the Saints won on Sunday night. Everyone is still talking about Favre's interception and how New Orleans going to the big game is an inspirational story, but no one has mentioned just how bad ass the Saints are. Just look how Porter decides to celebrate!

Friday, January 15, 2010

I Want This

Off topic, somebody please buy this for me:

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Blake Griffin And Greg Oden Fighting Over Who Goes First In Checkers

LOS ANGELES, California - With news that Blake Griffin's season is over before it began, with additional necessary knee surgery, the Clippers #1 pick has challenged fellow injury-riddled #1 pick Greg Oden to a game of checkers.

"He wants to go first, but I'll be damned if I let him", said a noticeably agitated Oden.

During the dispute, Oden and Griffin stacked their red and black game pieces in preparation. Griffin lost two fingers during the stacking of the pieces, while Oden needs a hand transplant.

Monday, January 11, 2010

LT's Got A Career After Football

It's obvious that Nike is behind this, but more importantly I pray to God that every Jets player does these moves after every big play!

LT's Got A Career After Football

It's obvious that Nike is behind this, but more importantly I pray to God that the Jets players do these moves after every good play this weekend!

Nice JR!

Um...the ball didn't go in, man.

Packers Defense Selected To Work For Defense of Homeland Security

WASHINGTON DC, District of Columbia - The White House is looking to the NFL in the wake of embarrassing terrorist attempts on planes over the holidays in 2009. Seeing an obvious problem with the porous nature of defense measures enforced by the United States Homeland Security Bureau, they are turning to the 2009-2010 Packers Defense.

"With a stifling D like the Packers', we're confident no one will get by their watchful eye", said President Obama.

The Packers defense surrendered 52 points to the Cardinals in Sunday's 45-52 playoff loss.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Evidence For Why D-Wade Is Leaving Miami: Exhibit A

God damn....

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