Monday, December 28, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
My addiction is celebrity lookalikes.
Coming across this on Youtube, I couldn't help but giggle and watch it roughly 50 times. Enjoy.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Much respect to the therapup.uproxx.com for the morphs...simply amazing. Follow the link if you want to see more of "if Wu Tang Clan members were cast, personality and looks-wise, by NBA players"
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Chris Dudley To Run For Governor Of Oregon On Platform Of Chest Hair, Fouling Out and Poor Free Throw Shooting
BRISTOL, Connecticut - At the offices of ESPN, talking heads have been droning nonstop about the Halladay for Lee deal in baseball. Words have been tossed around like "historic", "breath-taking" and "explosive" to describe the trade that would exchange Cy Young Award winners. Peter Gammons ripped his own face off to show how something even as big as an old man ripping his own face off would pale in comparison to how incredible a trade this was.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
I know NOTHING about hockey since the Whalers left when I was too young to notice, so this is what you get from me for our first hockey post: Randy Moller goal calls. He's the radio announcer for the Florida Panthers, which is not something that one should brag about, but he immediately follows the amazing Dan LeBatard Show With Stugotz from which he takes suggestions on what to scream during goal calls to excite an otherwise bored fan base in Miami. I'm going to shut up now and let you enjoy...
OAKLAND, California - After the Raiders 34-13 loss to the Redskins yesterday, Tom Cable, noted already under investigation by the league for alleged physical abuse against former Raiders assistant Randy Hanson and mistreatment of his wives, beat the living crap out of himself.
Friday, December 11, 2009
PITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania - The Steelers suffered a crushing blow to their playoff chances from the Cleveland Browns last evening, losing by the baseball score of 13-6.
Despite this loss, and likely end to playoff talk in Pittsburgh, Hines Ward has courageously maintained he will remain an obnoxious jackass.
"This team thrives on my ability to call out our QB who has won two Super Bowls, give the opposing team bulletin board material, and produce illegal hits that shifts negative media attention to us. Just because we are likely eliminated from the playoffs, who am I to stop producing in that way for our team?", said Ward on Friday. "Being an asshole is in my DNA. It has been since that first kid on the playground made that asian chopstick joke at me and I kicked his ass. I don't plan to stop now." Ward then spit on a 7-year old girl that happened to be wearing the color brown.
Tomlin praised Ward's resilience: "Speaking as someone that simply inherited a Super Bowl team that Bill Cowher built, and have subsequently crashed into the rocks, I feel a kinship with others that talk with a sense of entitlement and cockiness. Ward's ability to be a dick cannot be replaced on this team." Tomlin then punched the 10th person who had asked for his autograph as actor Omar Epps during the Q & A session.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
The plan went into action during last night's game against the Nuggets:
The hope is that after making enough of these shots, David Stern and the league will eventually make the full-court shot a 10-point shot...which the 76ers will already be masters of.
Monday, December 7, 2009
MIAMI, Florida - Tom Brady and the New England Patriots lost to the Miami Dolphins by the narrowest of margins yesterday, keeping the "throwback" theme of this year's team on track.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Searching the internet idly for photos of Kyle Orton downing bottles of Jack in college, Peter Farrelly came across a photo of Miami Dolphins quarterback Chad Henne with two ladies on each arm. The photo said "ladies man". The photo said "stud".
The photo also said, "The name's Christmas...Lloyd Christmas".
Negotiations with the soft-spoken quarterback are already underway, and with Jeff Daniels and Lauren Holly already locked up the directing duo plans to begin shooting as early as January 2010.
Reached for comment about the role, Henne spoke to reporters with excitement. "The chance to play a character loved by millions is a dream come true. I've got the mannerisms down, and I'm working on on Carrey's trademark delivery of the line "I like it a-lot" in the first movie. All I need at this point is a chipped tooth...we play the Patriots this week and my offensive line is banged up, so I've got that covered."
New Line Cinema has already released a promotional image for sequel:
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Lots of new stuff to discuss!
First and foremost, we created a brand new site entitled "ZOMBIES CAN DUNK. COM"!
ZCD is related to all sports, not just basketball, and is more for our goofy sides regarding sports writing. It also will have live Twitter updates, reader contests, and be updated extremely often. Yippee!
The Howeva Files also got a revamp, with a new logo, new text fonts, and new sponsors. We will still be bringing you that irreverent and pointless basketball news humor that you have grown to know and love. We will also get Ron Artest drunk and writing for us sometime soon we hope.
Thus, now you poor bastards have twice the drivel to sift through. Your welcome!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
EAST RUTHERFORD, New Jersey - Interim New Jersey Nets coach and part-time Metro-North conductor, Tom Barrise, was required to phone in the box score to the local papers this evening after the franchise lost its NBA-record 18th straight game to start its season since no one besides the participants actually witnessed the game.
"We're hoping that adding the blinding star power of Kiki Vandeweghe to our bench and a new line of flashy suits for Eduardo Najera will bring the fans out on Friday night," sighed Barrise. "Seriously...it was so empty tonight that Brook Lopez took a charge in the 2nd quarter and he didn't even make a noise. Hopefully I'll be here next year when our new owner will shower us with Russian hookers."
BALTIMORE, Maryland - Mel Kiper, useful to the general public for a few days in April during the NFL draft, is currently at the height of his uselessness.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Said roommate confirmed that the person in the picture below is the lucky athlete (HAHAHAHA...sorry couldn't keep a straight face while calling a golfer an athlete). Tiger Woods? Never heard of him. I bet he's a better Atari player than golfer since every other picture on Google has him wearing a hat with the ship from Yars' Revenge. You can find the whole VD-covered story here. Time to go back to celebrating...WHO DAT?!?!?! WHO DAT?!?!?!?!
PARIS, France - In the wake of his firing from the University of Notre Dame, who finished this past season 6-6, several sources are reporting that Charlie Weis will board a private jet to France to sign a lucrative deal with clergy officials to be their bell-ringer through 2013.