Thursday, June 24, 2010

Live Blogging: 2010 NBA Draft

9:46 pm - Trevor Booker for two second round small forwards? T-Wolves: Sign me up

9:42 pm - YES! Another forward for Minnesota!

9:40 pm - Was that Charles Smith sitting next to Kevin Durant and talking in his ear? Can someone please get him escorted out of the building ASAP?!?!?!

9:20 pm - It took a little time, but it looks like Minnesota got their small forward.

9:11 pm - YES! Bulls draft another 6'9" forward! Jay: He weighs too much for us. Send him to Washington.

8:50 pm - Please remind me tomorrow to find the YouTube clip of Ed Davis' agent hugging him ever so sweetly.

8:48 pm - These hats are awful. I have nothing funny or more clever than that.

8:39 pm - Have we found the second coming of Eric Montross in Cole Aldrich?!?!?!?!

8:34 pm - "What I got" We're up to 2. This is admittedly better than 15 minutes of encouraging the crowd to contribute to Margaritaville.

8:32 pm - This guy is like a hip-hop show where he randomly stops playing a song. Jay: I wish he'd stop permanently.

8:28 pm - If Hayward were to slick his hair back, he'd look like a coked out Chris Klein.

8:24 pm - Turner?
8:22 pm - Aminu?
8:21 pm - It's the kid from Good Burger!

8:17 Look-a-likes! Flip Saunders and Mark Coleman.

8:14 pm - Greg Monroe's mom took some time off from touring with Sly and the Family Stone to join us today...

8:12 pm - Success. I threw a Cousins-like fit and got it back.

8:09 pm - This place is horrible.... They've given the college world series preference over the draft. Also something called Whacked Out Sports.

8:05 pm - Oh no, he's playing originals now....

8::04 pm - Whoa, how many d-bag Maloof brothers are there?!?!?!

7:54 pm - SHOCKING DEVELOPMENTS: Minnesota has decided to draft only small forwards, NOT - I repeat- NOT point guards.

7:50 pm - Jay: What's the over/under on hearing the term "length" spoken by "draft experts?" 1 billion.

7:49 pm - Cousins is throwing tables backstage right now after NJ picked Favors.

7:45 pm - Over/under on how long it'll take Philly fans to boo Turner? Jay: N/A. No one is going to those games!

7:44 pm - "Crash into me". We're at 1.

7:39 pm - Since Washington is trying to clear as much cap space as possible to sign a max player, how great would it be to see a line-up that includes Wall, Gilbert and Joe Johnson?

7:34 pm - A d-bag has apparently set up to play shitty acoustic guitar music tonight. I'm missing last year's location. What's the over/under on Third Eye Blind, Bon Jovi, Dave Matthews, Sublime, U2, Oasis songs tonight? 11.5.

7:33 pm - I keep mistaking the draft logo for a new video game.

7:32 pm - Jay: So if the Bulls trade Heinrich and Deng, how many power forwards can they max out at?

7:26 pm - It'd be pretty hard to call me racist if you knew my own race, but at first glance I thought that ESPN had brought in Cal Penn as their capologist.

7:18 pm - The NBA Draft is my guiltiest pleasure in sports. I rail against the massive amount of hype that the NFL Draft gets (quick, give me your top 10 right tackles...snooze) so yes, I guess I'm sort of a hypocrite. I can't get enough. This year I'm at TD Homer's in Southington, CT accompanied for a second straight year by Jay. It's Jay. Not Jason. Just Jay. Hopefully the storms don't knock out the cable entirely or the beer kills my laptop.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

It's Ron Artest Appreciation Week

Following two amazing postgame interviews, we review an oldie but a goodie: Artest on Jimmy Kimmel. He really is America's new loveable freakshow.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Ronaldo Will Show This Highlight As He Bangs Your Wife

Ronaldo had this goal today, and I immediately surrendered the loins of my wife and every other woman that I hold dear to me. I just can't compete.

If you need me, I'll be practicing soccer out back and throwing gallons of fake tanner on my body.

Artest Is Da Best Part II

Friday, June 18, 2010

Artest Is Da Best

The shout out to the psychiatrist is the best. Can't think of a better way to go into the weekend.

Wait, here's a better way: Noted jackass Glen Davis was wrong on his game 7 prediction and he goes home a loser. THAT'S the best way to go into the weekend. Have a good two days off!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

New NBA Logos Aplenty!

While most of you are watching the NBA's final game of the championship series, I'm watching the REAL important thing in the NBA: TEAMS ARE GOING CRAZY AND CHANGING ALL OF THEIR LOGOS!

Witness, with your damn eyes, the new logo:

Oh...wait...that's their old logo from the 90s with the purple substituted for blue. Well, at least it's better than that mountain logo thing they had!

Hold on, hold on a sec...I'm confused. The note logo is their SECONDARY logo, and they KEPT the mountain thing and made THAT blue as well? There's now ORANGE in there TOO?

Well, let's see what the Warrior's new logo looks like: their old logo is their new logo too?! Color me confused. I can't believe that they didn't even put some clouds in the sky of that blue circle. While I do think the Warriors "new" logo is an upgrade (the old logo was far too..."San Francisco" if you know what I mean), it's a shame that graphic designers aren't actually coming up with anything new these days.
My only hope is the Nets owner succeeds in making a Russian hooker their new logo for when they move to Brooklyn. Pleeeeeeease let that happen.

Live Blogging Game 7

12:08 PM - Wow, you wonder why people hate Lakers fans? They just booed Bill Russell.

11:58 PM - Ron Ron thanking his psychiatrist was the best part of the entire game!

11:56 PM - So dramatic. Love game 7's. Can't help but notice how excited Kobe is and how unenthusiastic his wife is.

11:46 PM - Then Ray Ray...

11:45 PM - No idea how Boston is still close. Then Ron Ron hits a three on cue.

11:27 PM - A Gladys Knight reference. Way to skew Jurassic, Mark Jackson!

10:51 PM - There ought to be a permanent window in the corner fixated on Andy Garcia's mustache.

10:40 PM - If you're a Boston fan, don't you want everyone to say nothing about how badly Kobe's shooting right now? SHHHHHHHHHHH. Just let it happen...

10:11 PM - How dope would it be if one of the players stopped and admired himself on the big screens in the tunnels on the way back to the locker rooms?!

10:08 PM - Veal!

10:04 PM - Damn, this game has been so tight that I haven't moved a muscle in the longest time. Now Ron Ron and Pierce are going at it again.

9:54 PM - Is there a way to get the un-censored broadcast where there isn't 10 seconds of dead air whenever there's a collision? I would pay for it at this point.

9:27 PM - Anyone have any f'n idea who the hell the guy at the 8:20 mark is in this video? He's at every press conference dressed like that.

He's also here at the 2:39 mark too.

9:13 PM - I think this is what Doc Rivers' pre-game speech to Sheed probably sounded like: "This is what all the ice cream was for. All the jogging, sloppy defense, crappy outside shooting comes down to this. Will you step up or go bat shit crazy? Remember this, if you get a technical foul, it's not like there's a game 8 to be suspended for."

9:02 PM - The Red Hot Chili Peppers should always be playing in the background whenever Jeff Van Gundy speaks.

9:00 PM - The Lakers intro music only reminds me of the weakest and most cliched rock performance ever:

8:56 PM - The most appropriate injury report I've read this week: "Rajon Rondo had to get stitches in the locker room after suffering a Ron Artest."

8:55 PM - This vampire can SING!

8:51 PM - Blah blah blah, the world's worst pre/post game crew is finally over. I expected Magic to say, "This is going back to Boston" at prediction time.

8:34 PM - I'm back! Where have I been?! Who cares because it's Game 7! It's one of those rare days when you're allowed go scream at the TV like they can hear you.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Nice Mommy!

This comes courtesy of, and easily made the list of "top 10 things I have seen young children create":

A friend of mine is a kindergarten teacher, for mothers day they were putting together books for their family, filling in the blank about their mothers. This girl was trying to say bike, but this is how it came out.

New Magic Logo Time!

I don't know what is going on with my teams lately. The Florida Marlins announced they will get a new logo when they move into their new stadium in 2012, and now the Orlando Magic unveiled a new logo themselves. Check it out:

I know, I know...not very different than what they had. It kinda looks like a sign that would be at Epcot...but to me it marks the complete and utter death of the Penny/Shaq years. -Years that had tons of promise and ended with the two aforementioned stars badmouthing the team into oblivion. Screw those two. New logo, you and I can party anytime.

Monday, June 14, 2010


In case you haven't heard, England tied the USA soccer team 1-1 in a big upset on Saturday. It was entirely the fault of England goalkeeper Rob Green, who had the ball slip through his hands and into the net.

Thus is it quite random, but funny, that the Sun in the UK uses this publicity photo of England goalkeeper Rob Green on its site:

Looks like he knew something we didn't...

Friday, June 11, 2010

Okay, NOW I'm Excited

I love the Florida Marlins. Partially because they have one of the most absurd mascots in the history of mankind, a fish that is most often seen on the walls of weekend sports fishermen.

Well, new details have leaked about their new stadium, and apparently there will be TWO HUGE AQUARIUMS BEHIND HOME PLATE!

The only thing that could make the team more fun as it fills its seats with roughly 80 crusty, old folks is the thought of a foul ball shattering an aquarium and fish shooting all over the place. Screw the shatterproof glass. If there is one thing I learned Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park taught me, it is that "nature finds a way". There WILL be fish all over the turf at some point, and I just hope I'm there to see it.

Anyhoo, here are some artists conceptions. Have a great weekend folks!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Hot Cheerleader Wednesday: San Francisco 49ers

I've been quite sick over the past week, which has limited how much I can go to the gym. Ah well, I can still watch other people work out and feel this guy:

With that delightful image in mind, it's time for HCW. This week we travel to San Francisco, whose football team is currently mulling a move to Santa Clara. The Santa Clara 49ers doesn't really have much of a ring to it, especially since that area is better known as Silicon Valley, and not an area where gold was mined.

Ah screw it, there are no lakes in Los Angeles and no Jazz in Utah, so here are some damn cheerleaders:

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Golden Tate Has Potential

I just read this story on, and really there are no words to accompany it so I'll let it speak for itself. What a great way to write the first Seattle Seahawks story for ZCD:

Rookie WR Golden Tate was caught trespassing inside a Top Pot donut shop in Bellevue, Washington at 3:00 a.m. Saturday morning, according to confirms the report. Tate and a friend apparently got the munchies after hitting the bar scene. The only problem was that the donut shop was closed while they were scarfing down breakfast. Tate managed to escape arrest, receiving a "trespass warning" instead. While he should also avoid league discipline, he won't be so fortunate when it comes to rookie hazing at training camp. Jun. 8 - 2:26 pm et

Woody Is The Man

No you are not hallucinating. This really is Woody Harrelson scoring the winning goal in a soccer game in the UK. The game was an "England vs. The Rest Of The World" game, with famous players mixed in with celebrities (You'll see Mike Myers in there somewhere too).

Anyhoo, just adding more to the legend that is Woody Harrelson. Be sure to watch this while drunk to make it all the more otherworldly:

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Hot Cheerleader Wednesday: St Louis Rams

There is zero sports news these days, thanks in large part to the pre-NBA finals snorefest, baseball just ramping up, and football's free agency period ending (my apologies to hockey fans from Philly and Chicago...).

Thus, it is little surprise that the top story around the country today regards highly-regarded Rams safety Oj Atogwe becoming a free agent. Is this interesting news? No chance in hell.

...but it does give me an excuse to finally focus on the St. Louis Rams on ZCD in the form of Hot Cheerleader Wednesday!

Enjoy, Rams fans:

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Hey, Watch Your Leg

Some Phillies doof named Kendry Morales hit a home run to much fanfare.

When he got to home plate he slipped.

He is now out with a completely broken leg.



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