Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Cam Newton Ruled Ineligible After Receiving Store Credit

This afternoon the NCAA ruled that Auburn QB, Cam Newton, is ineligible for the BCS National Championship Game on January 10th in Glendale, Arizona after an investigation revealed that he had received improper benefits. On December 27th, the Heisman award winner allegedly returned a Blu-ray copy of the Will Ferrel comedy,"The Other Guys", he had received as a gift on Christmas for a store credit.
"I had already gotten it for myself on the day it came out," Newton said in a tersely written statement to the press. "I know what I did was unethical and was against the rules. I just didn't understand what I would do with two discs of the same movie."
CORRECTION: Newton has now been declared eligible after it was revealed that his daddy returned the Blu-ray. Cecil was later seen driving his rocket car that was paid for by school boosters to get his son to play at Auburn, but that's OK. Everything is alright, everyone! False alarm.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010


Clink some glasses of eggnog, dream of sugarplums (whatever the hell those are), and spend the rest of the night puking up eggnog and sugarplums because THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE! WOOOOOOOO! PRESENTS! YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh........h!!!

The Zombies Can Dunk crew wishes you the very best of holiday wishes and thanks you for a fantastic year that has brought in a new website name (goodbye "The Howeva Files"), a new podcast, a new site design, a new twitter account, and a newfound respect for how friggin' hard it is to manage all the stuff I just wrote. Seriously I think I lost many years off my lifespan doing all that.

Next year we are going to be starting off with a bang that includes more posts, many with longer content. That's right, we are hoping to increase the length and girth, ahem, of the site.

In the meantime, we hope you have a wonderful, "mistletoe on your zipper" holiday, and just a reminder that no matter what you did to embarrass yourself during your company holiday party this year, in a very short amount of time it will be 2011 and the slate will be wiped clean. -Unless you slept with the boss. In that case you probably just got a raise. Cheers!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

ZCD Podcast Episode 002: "Happy Holidays!"

In episode 2, Ben Morse joins Jordan and Taylor to discuss all of the wacky aspects of the holidays! Also, the gang plays "HooAh or Hate" with decorating trees, Christmas music, and wish lists! Enjoyable commentary to talk you off the ledge if you discover your mommy kissing Santa Claus!!!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Transformers 3 Trailer Cometh Out: Sucketh

I am an enormous Transformers fan. I have many of the original damn things from 1984 scattered around my room in their original boxes. I am, if anyone, the target demographic for this movie. That said, I could not stop from burying my head in my hands while watching this trailer and think Michael Bay is pure evil.

Did Walter Cronkite's family okay the use of his image in this? Is it possible that they saw what was completed of this trailer, and said, "Well, Grandpa's memory has to live on in some meaningful way, so this HAS to be good. WAIT. OMG. THERE IS A TRANSFORMER WITH A MOUSTACHE AT THE END?!?!?! WHERE DO WE SIGN?!"

Ah but to be a fly in that board meeting, when the writers came in and said that the movie begins with what WASN'T broadcast during the historic moon landing. That Neil Armstrong and Buzz kept a secret like gigantic hulking robot transformer thingies on the moon under their hat for decades, even after retirement, for their own unexplained reasons. That the ancestor of the transformers was somewhere on the moon, idling, and it wasn't until they came to life that the whole series began in what would be a mind-bleep of Megan Fox in too-small outfits, the ruination of John Turturro's career, and dogs humping each other for cheap laughs. -Oh yeah, and the main character's mom wandering around a campus stoned. Surely THIS is how all of that was meant to have started.

As a transformers fan, this third one is going to be the hardest one to justify seeing yet. Gone is ZCD favorite lady Megan Fox, replaced with a skinny model that looks like a Tree Ent from Lord of the Rings. Gone are Jazz and Jetfire, two of the my favorite characters from my childhood that Michael Bay ruined by making one an old guy and the other an overtly racist character. Replacing those things are a promise, and this is straight from Bay's mouth, of "less characters, more focus on the story". That always works well for sequels, Mike.

It's just a shame that such a great franchise has been turned into something that has moviegoers saying in their seats, "Oh cool! A movie about the moon landing! Wait. Crap. Another poop vehicle for Michael Bay. When does this trailer end?"

If you need me, I'll be sulking in my decepticons hat.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Gary Neal Has Imaginary Friends

Ghosts give the best high fives.

Slim witted and alone is no excuse for not getting a high five or two.

Zombies Can Dunk Podcast Now Available In Itunes And Zune

This is a Munchkin Mayor Adult Costume, similar to the one mentioned in the podcast. I really, really want this costume for everyday use.

As the title would have you believe, the Zombies Can Dunk Podcast is now available in the Itunes Store and Zune Marketplace!

It's got voices! It's got a fancy image that pops up on your ipod when you subscribe! It's got...well the voices and image are pretty much it.

It is free to subscribe, as we somehow resisted the urge to charge millions to make your ears bleed.

Click on the handy dandy new subscribing link on the site (it is to the right of this message) to subscribe and listen to our very first podcast and the thousands that are sure to follow. We are going to try to get into an "every other week" groove for posting new podcasts, and only time will tell if we are unsuccessful or horribly unsuccessful at maintaining that.


Zombies Can Dunk Copyright 2009