Chris Paul Staying With The Hornets...For Now

Sigh, with Chris Paul making nice and saying he doesn't need to be traded (right now) so ends the exciting 2010 NBA free agent season, with the Heat getting everyone and annoying us all to hell for the next 5 years. Time to turn our attention to football and baseball and English Premier League Soccer.

To make the transition easier for all of you, here is a clip of Vince McMahon saying "You're fired" for one minute straight:

SVG FTW!!!!!!!!!

Oh my lord this is the best thing ever. Kudos to the Orlando Sentinel!!!

Copy and paste the link below into your browser and enjoy!

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/sports/orlando-magic/os-svg-makeover-interactive,0,6569122.htmlpage

Lebron's Relationship With Cleveland

This is pretty accurate:

Dwight Helps With The Pain Of Watching Lebron To Heat

Who cares that the Heat will likely win the next 7 championships? At least the Magic have Dwight Howard to liven things up with a fantastic Lebron impression (the chin is my favorite part):

I May Buy This Shirt

Screw You, Lebron. Thank God I sold my MSG Stock before you made your announcement.

Dan Gilbert = Jilted Lover

WOW. I think he wrote this while trashing James' car or throwing his clothes out of the apartment window! Or...was he talking about Shaq?

I'm sold. Who else wants to put money down that Cleveland will win a championship before LeBron?

Live Blogging: LeBron TV Special!

10:10 pm - OK. I gave you an hour. I spoil you...

10:02 pm - The second happiest team? Golden State.
9:57 pm - Why are people burning throwback jerseys?!
9:56 pm - What I'm not looking forward to: The girlfriends who try too hard to pretend they like sports wearing LeBron Heat jerseys. This will replace the pink Red Sox hat.

9:50 pm - BREAKING NEWS: MIAMI HAS ALSO SIGNED JOHN STOCKTON, KARL MALONE, PATRICK EWING, REGGIE MILLER, CHARLES BARKLEY AND ANYONE ELSE WHO NEVER WON BECAUSE OF MJ!

9:47 pm - HOLY S*%$! Stephen A was right a few weeks ago!

9:40 pm - He was attracted to Newark?! Me too!
9:38 pm - 100% certainty that Shaq is showing up on Pat Riley's caller ID right now. "Hi. Can I please play for you? Pretty please? I promise to be good. Cross my heart..."

9:37 pm - Video of Clippers fans was unavailable I guess.

9:36 pm - D-Bag riot in Miami!

9:35 pm - BREAKING NEWS: MICHAEL WILBON IS FROM THE MIDWEST! DETAILS TO FOLLOW

9:32 pm - Why hasn't this question been asked: How happy are you to play alongside Beasley?!
9:29 pm - Cleveland has now sunk to the bottom of the lake, never to be heard from again.

9:26 pm - MIAMI!

9:25 pm - How important is it to know who knew his decision? We're all about to know in like 5 minutes!

9:23 pm - LeBron looks miserable. I think I also see Stephen A. dressed like a little kid in the stands behind him.

9:16 pm - My heart wants Prokhorov to bust into the gym with some thugs and kidnap the dude.
9:13 pm - Do you think they'll recreate the Tiger Woods podium and background and replace his mom with a random Asian woman?


9:11 pm - LeBron in different jerseys...Amazing production value thus far. Gas bagging and photoshop.

9:07 pm - Welcome to this overblown ego extravaganza!

Oh Please, Oh Please, Oh Please, Oh Please

While I frequent casinos, I've only gambled on sports once in my life, making a then unpopular bet that the Magic would draft Dwight Howard over Emeka Okafor. It was wishful thinking. I won $50 and that was that.

Now I turn to a second bet, with my investment in MSG stock. I sit here hoping and praying that Lebron goes to the Knicks with a look on my face much like that blonde woman below Lebron in the photo above. It's either boom or bust at this point as Amare's presence did little more than have me break even since investing on the stock a few weeks back (actually, at today's close I am down $8, but that's close enough).

Word is that Lebron will be making the announcement in Greenwich, CT...which is closer to NYC than Chicago, Miami, or Cleveland. Furthermore, I find it extremely telling that he decided to get out of him home state for the announcement. If he DOES decide to re-sign with the Cavs or go to the Bulls or Heat, I am calling upon every man, woman, and child to create a human roadblock so he cannot leave the northeast. This will be an airtight plan to keep him here unless he boards a plane.

Our esteemed Taylor Cunningham will be live blogging the announcement tomorrow, and I can hardly wait. Hopefully someone hands him the wrong paper and he accidentally admits to sleeping around on Elin.

Stripper Free Agent News: Chris Duhon Goes To The Magic

Chris Duhon, formerly of the Knicks, is now the backup point guard of the Orlando Magic. How did this story make the top of the site over Amare signing with the Knicks (the same Knicks, whose MSG stock I own is down $20...jackasses...)?

Easy. It's because Amare doesn't have photos like these:




This fixes what I thought was wrong with the backup point guard position on the Magic last year, which is namely that Jason Williams wouldn't look good popping out of a cake.

Almost The Weekend...

I'm going to be in Montreal for the weekend starting tomorrow, so an early end to the week. In the meantime, the rest of you should try to get as much work done as possible. -Much like this chick is getting done in the library:

Get Off The Damn Phone!

Been extremely busy, but more updates will come in the next few weeks.

In the meantime, please enjoy this helpful reminder from this past week to stay the f off of the phone while you are at a sporting event: