Hot Cheerleader Wednesday: Texans Cheerleader Randi Brady

NFL parity is making it tough for any team to stand out above the others. Right now most of the teams in the league are 2-3 or 3-2, so any sort of competitive advantage is key. For this reason...we need cheerleaders to tell us who is really the best.

That's my logic. I see no flaws in it.

Based on cheerleaders alone, the Houston Texans would win the next 80 super bowls. Whenever their team is televised on the east coast, I get dozens of texts from friends saying things like, "Look how hot the Texans cheerleaders are" and "Wait...the Houston Texans have a football team? Are those the guys running around behind the beautiful dancing women?"

It's like the team looked elsewhere in the state, saw the Cowboys cheerleaders, and decided the only way they could top them was to genetically engineer women in a lab. It is a miracle of science and probably cost millions.

Kicking off this trend of Texan beauty is a lady by the name of Randi Brady (who has since left the team to go on to modeling...shocker). She is the original gangsta who made the collective eyes of America shift to the Texans, much like this fatty in the black shirt is doing here:


Randi was even named "Hottest Cheerleader in the NFL" by Maxim a while back, which seems a good barometer for attractiveness (Maxim also brought our attention to Miami Dolphin favorite Lilly Robbins). The fact that Texans fans were looking elsewhere in the stadium to take their eyes off of the piss-poor David Carr-led product on the field must have helped her exposure.

Anyways, here are some images of Randi Brady for your Wednesday enjoyment:

James Wisniewski Gives The International Sign For "I Love Popsicles!"

Ol' Small Hands Has Still Got It

Alex Smith, the QB who had the fun privilege of having his small hands pointed out to every NFL fan in America before he was drafted by the 49ers, continues to continue his upward climb to super stardom in the NFL.

Wait.

Replace "continues to continue his upward climb to super stardom in the NFL" with "plummet to the depths of horrible QB play hell".

Fans booing is inherently hilarious, but them booing AND chanting that they want perennial loser David Carr is a masterpiece. While the 49ers are for the most part a horrifically boring team to watch this year, this clip makes this game look like one I'm sad to have missed.

This Guy Has My Vote

I try not to get involved with political discussions, which in my opinion always go hand-in-hand with anger, close-mindedness, and stupidity. I'd rather talk sports and entertainment, which involve all three of those same qualities but won't result in things like having abortions or segregating schools (See? Just writing that last sentence made me hate politics even more. Let's debate the coolness of the Jets logo).

Sometimes though, I find exceptions. Take this guy, for example: Jimmy McMillan. He is a member of the "Rent Is 2 Damn High Party", which is as amazing as it sounds and is something I can firmly get behind. I used to live in Manhattan until, guess what? That's right, the rent got 2 damn high (with an emphasis on "2").

I love his quotes, like "As I've always said, if you can stand the heat in the kitchen, COME ON!". He is a blend of Mr. T, Kenny Rogers, and animal from The Muppet Show...and for this reason alone he should be president one day.

Hot Cheerleader Wednesday: DALLAS COWBOYS EDITION

First off: Yes, I know it is Friday. This is besides the point.

With this site growing more popular, I decided to look at what the constituency was actively checking out on the website. Zombies Can Dunk is nothing if not a voice of the people.

Wouldn't you know it? Most seem to like Hot Cheerleader Wednesday as our most popular segment. Perverts.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist or a penis photo of Brett Favre to know that the public, especially the internet public, likes to see a little skin here and there. It is natural. It is part of our DNA. It is the only reason anyone even knows the name "Kelly Brook".

Thus, why wait until Wednesday to have some fun? Nay, I say that is is the right of the PEOPLE to get what they DESERVE! -and what they deserve is pictures of cheerleaders to help them get through the drudgery of another Friday and start the weekend out on a good note, dammit! This is America! Roar!

Nothing says America (for better and for worse) more than the Dallas Cowboys, so this HCW is devoted to the starred pom poms within the harem of creepy Jerry Jones.

Seeing these cheerleaders day in and day out, then abruptly NOT seeing them, would drive anyone to abuse heavy amounts of drugs. This is why Michael Irvin's behavior makes way more sense than anyone else on his team.

I Love This Guy

Everyone is making a big deal out of the Tiger Woods photo that has the ball coming straight at the camera, but I prefer to focus on this guy in the gallery who inexplicably has a fake moustache, wig, and cigar. Seems like the kind of guy that would be fun to party with.

Don't Taze Me Bro!

Great sack celebration...