Entire Game 3 Played Within World's Largest Shower Curtain

In a stunning move in hopes of deflecting the negative press from the new Tim Donaghy allegations, David Stern ordered that the entirety of Game 3 be played in the world's largest shower curtain. Since this Celtics-Lakers match-up has stirred up pleasant memories of finals past, the league concluded that it would just be better if a three hour montage was projected onto massive sheets of mildew-resistant artificial fabrics.

"We banked this entirely on the hypotheses that the die-hard fans would get caught up in the montage and that the fair-weather fans would get distracted by all the celebs in the audience so no one would think that a fixed game was being played," NBA deputy commissioner Adam Silver explained.

Donaghy, the disgraced former referee who has admitted to passing along inside information, betting on NBA games, and made calls to affect the point spread, claimed that an NBA official instructed referees to call fouls tighter, on who's been deduced as Yao Ming in his 2005 playoff match-up against the Dallas Mavericks. At the time, Houston coach Jeff Van Gundy was fined $100K for claiming that an NBA official told him that the NBA would more closely monitor Yao's moving screens.

After being supported by Donaghy's allegations, the bald Van Gundy allegedly reached a deal with the league that he would receive Andy Garcia's hair in lieu of being repaid the hundred grand.

Oh, and apparently the Lakers won 87-81 behind Kobe Bryant's 36 points, which no one saw.