Monday, March 23, 2009

The NBA Needs Arenas To Return With Guns Blazing

If you've thought this has been a rather boring NBA season, chances are you are a fan of oft-injured crazyman Gilbert Arenas. The guy finds a way to get the fans interested in the game that takes place OFF the court like no one else. Well, bored man, you may soon be in luck!

Gilbert Arenas, in typical Gilbert Arenas fashion, sent a text message that said "I'm playing Saturday against Detroit" to Comcast Sportsnet. Not since OJ Mayo's faxed letter to USC, declaring he was theirs, has the basketball landscape been as excited about something sent over the phone lines (This does not include Kevin Love calling his personal chef to say, "Add yet more fat to my diet").

Personally, I am completely psyched for Agent Zero to return. The league is better off when the sports highlights involve posturing and hairbrained sound bytes. With Shaq making nice-nice with Kobe, Stephon Marbury (the basketball equivalent of T.O.) momentarily happy, and Ron Artest being in between psychotic rampages, there has been a conspicuous lack of water cooler talk this season. The NBA usually hits a downswing in popularity around March, because of the NCAA Tournament, but this season seems to have been more quiet than any season in recent memory. It's enough to almost HOPE Chris Anderson falls off the wagon and winds up doing lines of coke off of the Denver Nuggets cheerleaders.

Thus, as we wait with baited breath for Gilbert to return, we'll keep our eye on the news wire for anything humorous and out of the ordinary. If nothing pops up soon, I'll petition for an NBA team in Las Vegas to drum up some fun stories (helloooooo stripper scandals!)


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