Hot Cheerleader Wednesday...Friday Edition: San Diego Chargers

The Eastern Conference finals have me all discombobulated (I'm waiting for the inevitable Orlando Magic stab in the gut as soon as they made it interesting), so Wednesday went by with nary a cheerleader in sight. I would hate to leave you unfulfilled, especially going into a sunny Memorial Day weekend, so here you go.

With it being an (optimistically) sunny long weekend, let's travel to a warm weather spot. Specifically someplace that's Spanish for "A Whale's Vagina": San Diego.

There are almost too many photos of San Diego cheerleaders on the internet, so I've tried to filter it down for you a bit. Have a good Memorial Day ladies and gents.

I Am A Moron

I am about to blow your mind with some news:

The Knicks are a publicly traded stock. That stock's symbol is "MSG". Look it up if you don't believe me.

-And as of today, if you look "Moron" in the dictionary, it is probably accompanied by a photo of me. This is because I invested money in the MSG stock this morning (along with Verizon). I am completely doing this in preparation for the Knicks offseason, in which I ACTUALLY think they'll get Lebron...or at least Bosh. Yes, I am an idiot. I do not hide this fact.

It's one of those rare times when one can make money off of a sports prediction. Wait. That happens all the time. Nevermind.

Anyhoo, I'll provide periodic updates on how the stock is doing for me. When I am broke, burning anything that is orange and blue, you'll know how it all worked out.

MSG Stock update: Down 15 bucks.

Crap. I didn't expect to be proved to be an idiot this quickly!

Avoiding Watching The Magic

Deciding it's too heartbreaking watching the Magic play against the Celtics again, here's what I'm watching instead:

Good choice? Damn straight.

Eeesh

These Eastern Conference Finals in an image:



Tough for Magic fans...

Best Commercial In A While

When I see my commercials, I like them over the top. This fits the bill. If you like soccer, like I do, you'll enjoy this one.

Speaking of soccer, hell yeah on Chelsea winning the EPL title this year. Go Lions.

Enough homerism...from across the ocean...let's watch:

Hot Cheerleader Wednesday: Phoenix Suns

Wow, what a colossal choke by Vince Carter in game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals. Oof.



If you look closely in that video, you can actually see the grim reaper laughing at me in the background, knowing he'll be getting me sooner rather than later after this game. This game was a rough one to watch...especially after my sacrifice to the basketball Gods of Magic dancers dunking.

Well, since neither the Celtics or the Magic dancers helped the Orlando Magic's cause, here are dancers from another damned 0-2 Finals team: The Phoenix Suns!

Orlando Magic Dancers Dunking

Arrrrg! The Celtics have a 1-0 lead on the Magic in the Eastern Conference Finals. Who do I blame? Myself. As a prototypical superstitious fan, I feel my mistake of leaving the Boston Celtics cheerleaders for too long on the website has given them luck in droves. Out of nowhere they dismantled the Cavs and are well on their way to doing it to the Magic as well.

To counteract this, I present Orlando Magic Dancers in their native habitat...that being dunking on foos. Stuff the Magic Mascot, the biggest collage of tripped out 60's marijuana haze ever to be conceived in a mascot, helps them along the way. I firmly believe that Stuff was created by the brain of Michael Beasley.

Anyhoo...DANCERS DUNKING!

Hot Cheerleader Wednesday: Boston Celtics

As a Magic fan, I would love nothing more than for the Celtics to beat the Cavaliers tonight, thus setting up an easier route for Orlando to make it to the NBA Finals. I honestly can't stand anyone on the Celtics except Brian Scalabrine, but the playoffs are all about matchups so I'm willing to put differences aside.

On a side note, here is an interesting tidbit from Wikipedia about the Celtics logo:

The Boston Celtics logo was designed by Red Auerbach's brother, Zang.

I can't believe there is a less successful brother out there named "Zang Auerbach". As a parent, you KNOW you are making one of your sons the less successful one when you opt for "Zang".

Anyhoo, enough of my rantings. Here are some ladies wearing green and white, none of whom appear to be Irish:
Look at those smiles. Truly, being an NBA cheerleader is a profession you can brag to your high school friends about and bring up at thanksgiving dinner. In fact, you tell people, "Hey, google 'Boston Celtics Cheerleader' and you'll see me up there. I even have my rump turned suggestively to the camera lens! Isn't that funny, grandma?"

Well, imagine ol' granny's expression when she googles "Boston Celtics Cheerleader", your image comes up...and it happens to be in this golden nugget of photographic genius:

Someone give this guy an award. The fact that the cameraman/camerawoman had the insight to scoot the frame over ever-so-slightly to include him makes it even better. -For this, you see, isn't as much a great photo as it is a metaphoric representation of the Boston sports bar world, where amidst your "Yankees wicked SUCK!" and "Knock Eli's block off, Broooooski!" you can still have a good time.

You can almost imagine Sam Adams doing a similar gesture to the British during the Boston Tea Party. God bless America.

Mascot Deathstorm

I didn't sleep well last night. My dog kept me awake and I went to bed entirely too late. Top it off with the fact that I have to go to the gym and it is crummy weather outside and you have a grumpy, cranky, pissed-off guy writing the blog today.

-But fear not! " Cranky" is always entertaining because it usually means I wish death upon things. -And what is more fun to wish death upon than mascots?

Nothing! Yay!

Here are some of my favorite mascot slow death moments!

These NBA Playoffs Appear A Bit One-Sided

The Orlando Magic, Phoenix Suns, and Los Angeles Lakers have successfully embarrassed their opponents. The Magic set an NBA record by beating the Hawks by a combined 101 points in 4 games. That averages out to winning by over 25 each game.

And while all this happens, the Cavs somehow are struggling with the Celtics. Where you AT Lebron?!

That being said, here if a random video of Kramer hanging out at my subway stop.

Happy Birthday To Me!

My present to myself? A video of the player I easily find to be the most entertaining/funny player in the NBA today: Mickael Pietrus.

Hot Cheerleader Wednesday: Atlanta Hawks

Yes, yes, I KNOW it's Thursday...but I'll be damned if we let the site's #1 staple falls by the wayside due to such a frivolous technicality.

I've decided to change the format of the HCW to be that of an entire team's cheerleaders. While Dolphins Cheerleader Lilly Robbins is a star all in herself, just finding one name cheerleaders is just something I am far too lazy to do.

In honor of the Hawks losing by 43 points to the Magic the other day, I've decided today's HCW would focus on Atlanta. Not only was I just there to visit relatives, but I'd like to show some mercy to Hawks fans after they got destroyed. Consider it an olive branch from a Magic fan like myself. This will all go away if the Hawks somehow beat the Magic tonight in game 2, because I am just that much of a bastard.

Anyhow, enough talk. Meet the Hawks dancers:

Lebron Has His Own Rules, And Travelling Ain't One Of Em'

It was magical watching this play live, and somehow the Youtube clip of it doesn't do it justice. In real time, it looked like Lebron walked with the ball and then played a game of hopscotch before going up with the shot.

Doc Rivers' reaction is fantastic.

Reason #45,904,502 I Am Not A Pole Vaulter

Reason #45,904,502? A pole up the ass.

Kobe The Puritan

I have no idea who came up with the idea for this photo shoot, but they should be shot with a musket gun.

Utah fans, if you don't make gigantic posters of this image and hold them up to distract Kobe at the foul line, I have no hope for you in these playoffs.