Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Larry Brown And Stephen Jackson Together? What Could Go Wrong?

CHARLOTTE, North Carolina - Bobcats owners Bob Johnson and Michael Jordan smiled widely at the acquisition of Golden State Warriors star Stephen Jackson. They knew they had made a huge move that would put their team over the hump for good.

"Chemistry has been a problem for our organization for...well, forever...but here we have a duo that we think will work quite well together. On one end, you have Larry Brown, a coach who has a history of gracefully coaching along players who exhibit difficult behavior, being something of a father figure to them. Who can forget the way that he taught Ron Artest to jump rope or gently rocked Allen Iverson to sleep every night?" Johnson said.

Jordan added, "-And on the other end you have Stephen Jackson, a person who has been a sweetheart to coaches, and fellow players alike. He has been a role model in the community, and was instrumental in "crowd control" in that brawl in Detroit. The other day I caught him making oragami swans for local schoolchildren."

As Jordan and Johnson walked off to the cigar bar, reporters witnessed Brown drinking heavily and pulling his hair out. Jackson was putting live firecrackers in new teammate Gerald Wallace's locker, and reportedly threw his own feces at Raymond Felton.


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