Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Oakley Gets A DUI

The photo above was waiting for me from several people when I checked my email today.

Our good friend (and MJ sidekick) Charles Oakley was nabbed for driving under the influence in Georgia. Apparently he was swerving all over the road and willingly said he was wasted with a smile when asked by police.

While many of the comments we received were pretty good, my personal favorite came from my friend John:

"I think MJ, Ahmad Rashad, Kevin Bacon & Cuba Gooding all chipped in for his bail and some complimentary hanes underwear....that or MJ used the Bobcats 2008 mid-level free agent exception for bail. This picture is now my desktop wallpaper."

So what could have driven Oak to drink and drive...besides, ya know, the fact that he seems to be drunk every day nowadays? My guess is the fact that some other peeps seem to be stealing his comeback idea:

Today Michael Jordan worked out with the Bobcats, and Isiah Thomas said that he would shake up the roster a ton if the Knicks' losing ways continue. We know, we know, unlike MJ Isiah Thomas doesn't seem to be hinting he will shake up the roster by actually playing himself...but would that be so out of character? For those of you who still fail to see his dimentia and don't think there is a possibility of this happening, I have the 8 most recent words that Isiah's guardian angel whispered in his ear as being good ideas:

1) Popcorn
2) Sexual-Harassment
3) Balkman
4) Caucasian-Hate
5) Zebo
6) Francis
7) Marbury
8) Tooth-whitening.

Who is to say that he won't come to work one day with a Knicks jersey under his dress suit and tear-away suit pants? It's what I pray for every night before I go to sleep.

MJ claims he was just practicing with the Bobcats and laughed off a comeback, but we are hoping to the heavens above that the Bobcats completely tank and we see Oakley and MJ on the court at some point. Even if it is a long shot that they unretire and play for Charlotte (MJ needs to devote as much time as possible to grinding with college girls), at least we can dream. For now we'll have to settle with Oakley wearing a neon orange uniform when he performs community service on the roadside.


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