Wednesday, November 7, 2007

THF Anal Thermometer Watch: New Orleans Hornets Edition

The New Orleans Hornets, a team that one third of NBA fandom still calls the "Charlotte Hornets", the other third calls "That team with the late 80's teal and purple colors", and the final third calls "The asian bees" (what's with the eyes on that thing?) is looking good this season.

-And not just "good". They're looking "goooood" in a 'Billy Dee Williams winking at you, buying you a drink, and next thing you know you're another notch on his bedpost' way.

The team that The Howeva Files so wisely proclaimed would finish last in the Southwest Division is not only somehow winning the division (which contains the Spurs, Rockets, and Dallas), but is also 4-0, have beat some damn good teams in the Lakers and Nuggets, and last night blew a wet fart on all sorts of team records.

TEN 3-pointers for Peja? TWENTY-ONE assists for Paul? Yowza.

Which leads us to the obvious follow-up point: Why isn't anyone talking about this? The answer lies in the fact that the Hornets just aren't sexy in a lot of people's eyes. They don't have a cool, hip location like New York, they don't have a bad boy who cheats on his wife and makes the headlines like Kobe...they don't even have an original logo, having blatantly ripped off that Georgia Tech logo.

What they seem to have that those other teams don't is a good, deep team: David West is the best player no one in the world talks about (including his relatives probably), Chris Paul seems obsessed with assists, when healthy Peja still can do almost anything on the court except shave, Tyson Chandler filled his Chicago quota by blossoming after he left there, Morris Peterson is pretty good when he tries, and reserves Rasual Butler and Bobby Jackson remain two of the league's most fun reserves to watch...despite most people thinking Bobby Jackson died several years ago by looking at him.

And as if it wasn't a big enough slap in the face that no one has been paying attention to them, they are playing in rebuilt New Orleans and can barely get as much press as Drew Brees' face-mole thingy. They should be respected for playing there.

Well, we want to change that.

At this point in the season, on a scale of 1-1o on the THF Anal Thermometer Watch we give the Hornets a very respectable 9 and chock full o' disease rating, which amounts to a huge enjoyability in watching them, and probably the ultimate reason that Bobby Jackson is decaying.
On a side note, the friendly folks at just informed the site that the Hornets have a secondary logo that is pretty cool. It is provided for you to see on the right there.
How in the WORLD is this not their primary logo? Like that old 50's Cleveland Browns elf, it is seemingly on the shelf in favor of a shit stain.
Love the fleur de lis and penis-shaped head. I might write David Stern I like this logo so much.


G.L. Rawx on November 8, 2007 at 5:46 AM said...

Agreed on the fleur-de-bee, that thing is fresh to death. Now if only Tyson Chandler would wear a moo-moo, glasses, and a grey wig...

Jordan Geary on November 8, 2007 at 3:04 PM said...

Oh my goodness, that would make my day, FTF. We need a return of that outfit.

Hopefully Larry Johnson needs the money.

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