Kobe Vs. Shaq: Gee, Anyone Watching This One?

Tonight on ESPN the Suns take on the Lakers for what seems like the 8 zillionth time in the past two years. We have the fun playoffs that featured these two teams going head-to-head to thank for that (and their mutual love of the color purple).

This game is different though, for obvious reasons you've probably already had yelled in your ear all day by television and radio analysts: Shaq will be on the Suns, and it is a fun coinkidink that his first game is against arch-villain Kobe Bryant. Somewhere David Stern just laughed to the heavens as he did the backstroke in a Duck Tales-esque money bin.

Personally, it couldn't be easier to figure out who America will be rooting with on this one. Kobe is a sneering, angry, trade-request plagued primadonna who got lucky in that his team surrounded him with some amazing talent this season. Shaq, meanwhile, is the aging goliath who has funny things to say, always gives a ton of credit to his teammates, and even helps fat kids shed weight for fun (I guess we all have our weird hobbies). Toss in the fact that the Suns are perennial also-rans and they will be playing at home tonight to a fired up crowd and this one could break the record for "most people in America rooting for one team". -Well, if you don't count the Super Bowl this year (Daily twisting of the knife in Patriots fans: Check).

Ultimately I predict a pretty incredible game with the Suns winning a close one at the end. I base this entirely on the fact that Phil Jackson will probably be typing up everything for his next book during most of the game. The game is about to start, and although they are two great teams, I will join the nation of NBA fans by having my eyes squarely on two players for most of the game:

Yep, you guessed it: Boris Diaw and DJ Mbenga!

I will use this photo above to point out one of my favorite things in the NBA ever: A little thing I like to call "The Boris Diaw Face". A while ago, I pointed out to my friends that Boris Diaw always looks like he is giving a girl the "You know you want me" face in all of his profile photos. We have since used this expression in social settings numerous times:

Me: How did last night at the club go?

Friend: Not good. I was giving girls "The Boris Diaw Face" all night and STILL nothing!

Me: I guess it's time to start dating farm animals then, my friend. That move is unstoppable.