It takes a lot to be the most reviled owner in the NBA. First you need to become the hometown hero who builds a new franchise from the ground up in a relatively small, yet enthusiastic city. Together with the fans, you overcome the nationwide pessimism ("The only franchise Charlotte is going to get is one with golden arches") and become one of the hottest tickets in the country, selling out 358 consecutive games.
Then you blow it. Unwilling to pay fair market value, you trade away your most popular players including future hall of famer Alonzo Mourning. Even worse, your trade for a center who likely wreaks of cigarettes blows up in your face when Kobe Bryant teams up with some large fat man, whose name escapes me at the moment, who go on to dominate and embarrass your league. Speaking of embarrassing, you were charged with pulling a Kobe of your own, which you were lucky to fight off in court. Quickly, you're run out of town to a city that cannot support a team that plays 41 home games a season leaving everyone screaming for you to sell.
If you can't be proud of your career as an NBA owner, at least you can be proud of your pistol-toting rockstar son, Chris. Don't let the gun fool you, the music is actually not all that daring. His career peaked when he teamed up with former members of Blind Mellon and Pearl Jam in '98, which was about 7 years too late to be relevant. Currently you can find Chris living in LA, fronting his new band Everything Is Energy, and doing whatever the hell he's doing in this video below.
Chris' bio from the Everything Is Energy begins as such:
Wow, I know it might be embarrassing to have grown up as George Shinn's child, but saying that he's "been through hell" is a bit much, right? Need I show you his dad's boat that he rides in?!?!?! And I'm pretty sure that if you grew up in hell, your band would sound more like Slayer and less like an even whinier 30 Seconds To Mars. But I'm stopping myself from making any more judgments until later since I'm hearing news that a whole new album is in the works! Rock on Chris, keep the scene alive!“I was sitting between my mom and dad on the front seat on our way to dinner. The eight track was playing Bruce Springsteen and at one point, I laid into this massive air guitar solo. Seeing my enthusiasm, mom turned down the radio and asked me if I wanted to be a rockstar. I didn’t know that I could choose anything besides being a policeman or fireman. I was five.” -Chris Shinn
Everything Is Energy is a band that is born of a man that has been through hell. Which is odd, because they sound like the ocean, flecked with gold dust straight from the angels’ afros. The band is at once rhythmic and churning with a dynamic that supports Chris Shinn’s channeling of Gabriel... the angel, not Peter.
1 comments:
I like that Chris had no idea that there were other careers besides fireman or policeman, despite the fact that he was probably raised by his family's butler.
Air guitar! I think this kid has a career on his hands!
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