Wednesday, December 16, 2009

No One Gives A Crap About Halladay-Lee Deal

BRISTOL, Connecticut - At the offices of ESPN, talking heads have been droning nonstop about the Halladay for Lee deal in baseball. Words have been tossed around like "historic", "breath-taking" and "explosive" to describe the trade that would exchange Cy Young Award winners. Peter Gammons ripped his own face off to show how something even as big as an old man ripping his own face off would pale in comparison to how incredible a trade this was.

A recent man-on-the-street poll has roughly 96% of Americans not even sure who the hell Cliff Lee and Roy Halladay are and don't watch baseball anymore. The remaining percentage constitutes 2% who are baseball fans for teams not involved in the trade, 2% who are fans of the teams but see the trade as a wash, and 1% who are actually Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee.

ESPN writer Rob Neyer wrote for the Mariners "This is, quite frankly, a heist." Yahoo Sports writer Jeff Passan wrote, "The biggest baseball trade in almost 2 years is a few dots, crosses and passport stamps from completion."

In a related note, ESPN and Yahoo have seen a drop in viewers during the Halladay-Lee coverage, down 999% from the Tiger Woods coverage. The remaining 1% were people wondering if Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee were the names of people who slept with Tiger Woods.


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