MIAMI, Florida - Tom Brady and the New England Patriots lost to the Miami Dolphins by the narrowest of margins yesterday, keeping the "throwback" theme of this year's team on track.
"We're really happy that in keeping with the old uniforms, the team could embrace its history by losing in gut-churning fashion. They really knocked this one out of the park. It's so great to have players honoring previous Patriots teams this way", said team owner Robert Kraft.
Tom Brady, the "Golden Boy" who is coupled with a Victoria Secret model, had a horrible 4th quarter collapse. "I was just doing my part to remind people that many of the previous QBs for this team had horrible fortunes. Heck, even I have children with some broad that I was dating and ran away from when I found out she was pregnant. It's my way of reminding people how awful the history of this team is, and hopefully I was successful in that."
When reached for comment, Miami Dolphins LB Joey Porter yelled something unintelligible and punched out a security guard. Many believe this was an homage to "thugs of Miami Dolphins past", including Brian Cox and Cecil Collins.