Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Once-Obsessed NFL Analysts Now Ready To Ignore Saints

BRISTOL, Connecticut - NFL analysts at ESPN headquarters received a memo from ESPN management today calling for a cease and desist of all Saints talk now that they have lost a single game. The New Orleans team that were once labelled nationwide as "The Best Team In NFL History" will now be only spoken about in hushed tones or, according to the words in the memo, by cocky analysts such as Merril Hoge with the words, "Hey, everybody, just because they lost a game don't sleep this team!" The words will also be then echoed by Merril Hoge's increasingly obvious toupee (pictured, left).

The memo said not one analyst should in any way reference how they supported the Saints in irritating fashion until now, nor should they in any way reference predictions they all made that the Saints would be the NFL's first team since the 1972 Dolphins to have a perfect season. Workers in the Bristol offices are feverishly erasing any such taped speeches.

The memo ended by calling for analysts to start overwhelming "The Colts Are The Best Team In NFL History" talk. Such talk will be started today, with analyst Mark Schlereth complimenting the girth of Colts QB Peyton Manning's penis.


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