Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Brook Lopez Falls in Empty Izod Center, Does Not Make a Sound

EAST RUTHERFORD, New Jersey - Interim New Jersey Nets coach and part-time Metro-North conductor, Tom Barrise, was required to phone in the box score to the local papers this evening after the franchise lost its NBA-record 18th straight game to start its season since no one besides the participants actually witnessed the game.

"We're hoping that adding the blinding star power of Kiki Vandeweghe to our bench and a new line of flashy suits for Eduardo Najera will bring the fans out on Friday night," sighed Barrise. " was so empty tonight that Brook Lopez took a charge in the 2nd quarter and he didn't even make a noise. Hopefully I'll be here next year when our new owner will shower us with Russian hookers."


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